Red

It's been a month now since you left.  I miss you madly, even though we have spoken or texted daily.  Before the final entry, I wanted to say thank you for everything you have given me during our time together.  Love, support, encouragement, safety, freedom, a time to belong to you, lots of pictures and videos to keep memories from fading, as if they ever could.  Thank you for helping from so far away while I go through the stress and heartache of ending my marriage.  For checking on me and making sure I knew you were there for me even though you are very busy starting your new life.  For making me feel less alone in the world.  I don't have the words to express my appreciation appropriately.

I want to leave you with the lyrics of this song.  Too many inside references to us for me not to post this song for you.  I'm sure you'll get all the references, but I mostly hope it brings a little bit of that smile I love to your face.

RED - Taylor Swift

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly

Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall

Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all

Losing him was blue like I'd never known

Missing him was dark grey all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met

But loving him was red

Loving him was red

Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song

Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong

Losing him was blue like I'd never known

Missing him was dark grey all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met

But loving him was red

Oh, red

Burning red

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head

In burning red

Burning, it was red

Oh, losing him was blue like I'd never known

Missing him was dark grey all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met

'Cause loving him was red

Yeah, yeah, red

We're burning red

And that's why he's spinnin' 'round in my head

Comes back to me, burning red

Yeah, yeah

His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street